Twerp.

A church in Canton, N.C., told an Asheville TV station that it plans to schedule a Halloween bonfire of Bibles and books by Christian authors in an effort to... I'm not really sure, to tell you the truth.

"Pastor Marc Grizzard told Asheville TV station WLOS that the King James version of the Bible is the only one his small western North Carolina church follows. He says all other versions, such as the Living Bible, are "satanic" and "perversions" of God's word.

On Halloween night, Grizzard and the 14 members of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church also will burn music and books by Christian authors, such as Billy Graham and Rick Warren."

Oh, where to begin... Let's start with my long-time frustration with people who think Halloween is some sort of satanic holiday. No, it started out as a pagan celebration (and I guess it still is - any pagans want to chime in?), and I would argue that it's become more of an American cultural holiday than anything else. I'd actually planned on doing a post about this closer to Oct. 31, so I'll hold off until then.

Every time a Christian says that they only read the King James version of the Bible because it's the authentic word of God, I slap my forehead. For the record, the King James in question was King James OF ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND, and he commissioned that version of the Bible in 1603 so that English worshippers could have a comprehensive translation of scripture. (There's a concise history here, along with instructions for the translation.) It's a book - words printed on a page. It's what you do with those words that matters.

And as far as I'm concerned Pastor Grizzard and his fellow pyros get a big fail on that account. Haywood County, where Canton is located, had an unemployment rate of 8.7 percent as of August. Almost 12 percent of residents lived below the poverty line in 2007. Only seven out of every ten students in Canton's school district will graduate high school. The town's highest-paying employer is a paper mill notorious for polluting not only local rivers, but the water in Tennessee, too. I drove through Canton this summer, and it looks like the set of one of those 197os social drama films.

Why do I bring this up? Because if Grizzard is concerned with ministering to the people in Canton, there's a hell of a lot he could do besides burning holy books. But hey, thanks for making all of us North Carolinians (and Christians) look like medieval idiots.