A "Dear Julius" letter

Julius Peppers doesn't want a long-term deal with the Carolina Panthers.

Okay, let's re-cap. Peppers is from North Carolina, played college football and basketball at UNC, and was drafted in the first round by the Panthers. So, last off-season when he started talking about possibly wanting to play somewhere else, my reaction was: I'll miss him, but I understand. Most of us have been at that point where we've hit a wall, personally and/or professionally, and need a change of scenery. I don't begrudge Pep that at all.

The Panthers franchised him, but no other team wanted him, so the Panthers made Pep the highest-paid player in the NFL - roughly $1 million per game, plus the $1.5 million bonus he got for making the Pro Bowl. And Pep sort-of delivered with a 10.5-sack season (only sort-of because it was heavily weighted toward the end of the season). In truth, the only time he played like a guy making more than anyone else at his position or any other was in the December Sunday Night Football game vs. the Vikings.

But now Pep doesn't want to even talk about coming back to the Panthers. Because why? Because they don't call him:

In an interview that aired Tuesday morning on Charlotte radio station WFNZ-AM, the five-time Pro Bowl defensive end indicated he's irritated by the team's "silence" and has changed his stance on whether he wants to continue his career in Carolina.

"How can you say you want to be somewhere when you're not really sure if they want you there because they're not even talking to you?" Peppers said.

But wait, it gets better:

After being held to a career-low 2½ sacks in 2007, the Panthers still offered to make Peppers the NFL's highest-paid defensive player. Peppers on Tuesday provided conflicting reasons on why he rejected the contract.

"That deal was to make me the highest-paid defensive player, but slightly, very slightly," Peppers said. "I didn't really feel the sincerity behind that deal."

"I had 2½ sacks that season and they're coming to offer me being the highest-paid defensive player. Like, I can't even accept that," Peppers said. "I'm not deserving of that."

He promptly donated that year's salary to the United Way. I'm sure.

*PROFANITY ALERT*

(Seriously, stop reading if bad words offend you.)

Okay, you know what, Pep? You're starting to sound like the hot chick that a nice guy dates forever and ever because she's the hot chick, but she sucks out his life force with her pure evil. "OMG, do you believe that jerk only got me the 2-carat diamond for our mid-week anniversary? What does he think I am? I'm not feeling the sincerity of that jewelry." It reminds me of the mother of this guy I dated, who had no job and broke up with one of her boyfriends after her car broke down and he wouldn't buy her the new one she wanted (a car, yes, just not the one she wanted), saying he "didn't understand commitment."

Fuck, you, Pep. Fuck your lazy pot-head 30-year-old ass that only shows up for nationally televised games and gets paid more than the rest of the Panthers' defense combined. Fuck you for texting your girlfriend half an hour before kick-off (true story). Fuck you for not leading the team where you're one of the most senior members. Fuck you because my family and I kept our season tickets through joke years where our only bright spots were John Kasay's fucking field goals. Fuck you because of all the fans at every home game who start screaming for you during player intros as soon as "#90, University of North Carolina" flashes on the jumbotron.

Go play for the goddamned Cowboys, you whiny asshole. You'll fit right the fuck in.