Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I hate it when people f*ck with my uterus

Apparently, the American Medical Association needs some busy-work. Yep, now that our nation's doctors have cured cancer, AIDS and heart disease and implemented that efficient-yet-comprehensive public health care system, they clearly needed something else to occupy them. How else can you explain the AMA's resolution, introduced by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, to ban home birth? I mean, I can't think of any other reason, other than the erradication of every other medical problem on the planet, for the AMA to go and f*ck with my uterus.

I'm sorry, what was that? The AMA hasn't cured cancer, AIDS and heart disease? Millions of Americans still don't have health insurance? It's still easier to buy liquor than fresh fruit in East Winston? Huh. I guess the AMA are just f*cktards.

I'm a little pissy, in case you can't tell.

Here's the thing. I'm not going to get into a debate about how safe home birth and/or midwifery is vs. a traditional hospital birth. I know plenty of women who've opted for non-traditional birth (at home with a doula, at birthing center with midwife in addition to doctor, etc.), and I know just as many women who had radical, unforeseen complications during childbirth and likely would've died had they not been in a hospital. When I have kids (a LONG ways off), I'm leaning toward home birth because I hate how the modern "health" care system treats pregnancy like a disease to be cured. I hate the horror stories about women forced into taking potentially dangerous medication, or into having C-sections. I really hate hearing from Medicaid patients who got second-class treatment.

But I may change my mind on that. That's the thing about options - having them allows one to choose what's best in a given situation for herself and her family. Not, say, what's best for her OB/GYN's tee-time.

Some say the AMA and ACOG are motivated solely by the business they stand to lose if more women go the home-birth route. That may be a piece of it. But I'd say a good portion of their motives come from pure old-fashioned paternalism. (Hey, I don't blame them...It must suck to realize that an 80-year-old woman on top of a mountain somewhere knows as much or more about birthin' babies than you do with your $100,000+ education.) (Not to suggest that all midwives fit that stereotype. They have to go through a pretty rigorous licensing procedure.)

As far as I'm concerned, they're no better than the fundies who want to outlaw abortion, early contraception or birth control pills. In both cases, the argument goe like this: You, the woman, don't have the capacity to research your options. You don't have the judgement to make an informed decision. And you're far too emotional to deal with any consequences arising from your decision. It's best to let us, the (typically) privileged old white men, make these choices for you. And if you ignore our measured counsel, you deserve whatever you get.

If this were only a resolution confined to a meeting of a professional group, it would be disturbing enough. But that last "resolved" item gives me the willies:

RESOLVED, That our AMA develop model legislation in support of the concept that the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate post-partum period is in the hospital, or a birthing center within a hospital complex, that meets standards jointly outlined by the AAP and ACOG, or in a freestanding birthing center that meets the standards of the Accreditation Association for Ambulatory Health Care, The Joint Commission, or the American Association of Birth Centers.”

Gosh, if I had the capacity and judgment to, I dunno, think through consequences, I suppose I might find a few quibbles with the AMA's logic. If you legally ban - that is, outlaw - home birth, what happens to the woman who just goes into quickie labor at home and pops Li'l Johnny out before she gets to the hospital? Does Mom go to jail? What if I'm walking by selling Girl Scout cookies or something and I happen to be there when Li'l Johnny crowns, and I help Mom with her pushing? Do I go to jail? What if I'm a now-underground midwife? Do I get a heavier sentence than if I were just a random citizen, like first-degree murder vs. manslaughter?

Since (in Happy AMA Land) all women magically give birth in hospitals...um, who's paying for this? And are other medical conditions next? 'Cause, if so, my Mom might be in serious trouble - she had a "stomach ache" for more than a month before she finally let them take out her appendix. Come to think of it, don't we have laws in this country that protect the rights of people who decline medical treatment (such as vaccines) for religious reasons?

It's worth a reminder that "pro-choice" includes a whole array of reproductive issues, of which abortion is only one. In this presidential race, one candidate wants to f*ck with my uterus and one thinks I can handle her just fine on my own. Something to think about when you go to pull that lever in November.

No comments: