More Retro Pic of the Week

(This one's from Sept. 2007)

"Amelie" (2001)
This one has been on my list for a long time, and I know I'm going to get struck by lightning or something for saying this…but I was disappointed. Only mildly! And my disappointment probably has more to do with my high expectations, and shouldn't reflect on the quality of the film. It's beautifully put together, and a sweet little story. But you have to understand that every single person I know who's seen this movie talks about it with the same fanatical devotion that you see in people who've just found Jesus. It's very good. But not that good. [::ducking the tomatoes::]
Director Jean-Pierre Jeunet also made "The City of Lost Children" (1995), which grabbed me emotionally far more than "Amelie," and "Delicatessen" (1991), which is on my Netflix queue. Jeunet's films are known for their visual sophistication, and "Amelie" certainly has that in spades. It's about a somewhat emotionally stunted young woman who, through an overly fortuitous series of events, decides to devote her life to making better the lives of others. Nice…especially since devising these Byzantine plots keeps her at a distance from actual emotional involvement. But for whatever reason, maybe just my own worldview, it didn't click for me. We see a young Amelie so sensitive that her suicidal goldfish drives her to hysterics, and an adult Amelie who can't even meet in person the man she loves (but who sleeps with him within 30 seconds of their eventual introduction)…Didn't buy it. Watching Amelie's increasingly over-the-top strategies to engage The Guy, I wasn't rooting for her to succeed because her character deserved it, but because I knew it would mean the movie would finally be over.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a horrid Scrooge with no soul. Again, not saying it's a bad movie, because it isn't. I just don't think it justifies the rabid "this film will change your life" hype.
(You know what got to me? Amelie's secret pleasure – sliding her hand into a barrel of dry beans at the market. I could completely identify with that. Everything else about her – not so much.)

"Saved!" (2004)
Loved, loved, loved it. I was reasonably sure I would at least like it, and it far exceeded my expectations. If you're a Christian with a sense of humor, you'll appreciate this one. Almost-all-grown-up child star Jena Malone plays a star student (the oh-so-subtly named Mary) at a Christian school whose world is turned upside down when her stalwart Christian boyfriend tells her he thinks he might be gay. Oops. Apparently his hobby – figure skating for Jesus – didn't raise any red flags. Mary has a vision of Jesus himself telling her to "cure" her BF, and by the first day of her senior year BF is exiled to a fundy rehab and Mary's starting to feel a mite queasy in the mornings. Leave it to the worldly lone Jewish student (Eva Amurri – Susan Sarandon's daughter) to figure out the obvious. Perfect little Mary has a bun in the oven.
This film will resonate with anyone who's ever spent much time with the Bible-study crowd ("Let's get our Christ on! Are you down with the G-O-D?"). I was pleasantly surprised to see a Hollywood film tackle religion with both accuracy and sensitivity – the big confrontation with the school's pastor at the end is a scene that should be required viewing and discussion for every church in America. It's got a lot to say about the hypocrisy to which even the most devout Christians can succumb, while being immensely entertaining. Mandy Moore is incredibly fun to watch as the Queen Bee warrior for Jesus, Hillary Faye. Really, the only mildly weak link is McCauley Culkin as Hillary Faye's wheelchair-bound brother – he's just kinda there.

"Borat" (2006)
Sigh. Another disappointment. Again, not a bad movie, just not really enough to justify the hype. How hard is it to get Middle Americans to do stuff that will look silly when taken out of context on camera? The whole time I'm watching this, one expression kept rolling through my head like CNN's man-bites-dog news ticker: "like shooting fish in a barrel." It's more notable for the fact that so many people (non-New Yorkers, at least) were polite to Sacha Baron Cohen, rather than kicking his ass. I mean, the man insults the wife of his dinner host and brings a hankie full of shit to the table, and it takes him inviting a call girl to dinner for his hosts to (politely) ask him to leave. Move along, folks, nothing to see here.

"Stardust" (2007)
Go see it. You may have read reviews comparing it to "The Princess Bride" – not a totally off-base comparison. "Stardust" didn't sweep me away like "The Princess Bride," but it's still a great story. Quick notes – I can't stand Claire Danes, but I loved her here. I won't spoil the "twist" in Robert DeNiro's character if you don't already know…it works for the story, but I don't know if it works for him. What am I saying? I should be grateful that DeNiro's stretching himself as an actor, which he hasn't done in 10 or 15 years…oh, hell, he's miscast, what can I say? But still, go see it. Now.

"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" (1962)
Even if it weren't any good, this one would still be worth a watch thanks to the rare spectacle of two of Hollywood's legendary bitches on wheels go at it. Bette Davis (my new hero) and Joan Crawford play sisters. Davis is Baby Jane Hudson, a former brat-star whose vaudeville act lost its steam when she hit puberty. As luck would have it, that's when her sister Blanche started developing a solid career as a film leading lady. Blanche tried to be gracious, she really did. She even required her studio to make one film with Jane for each film they made with her, which is pretty much the only reason Jane got work. (Imagine if Julia and Eric Roberts had the same arrangement.) But then there was that mysterious car accident…Now, 30 years later, Blanche is in a wheelchair, and the increasingly unstable Jane is her only companion in their decrepit mansion. Once the pesky housekeeper is dispatched with a hammer, and Blanche's pet bird turned into "din-din," that is…Jane's fun that way.
It's a bit overlong, and a bit frustrating (are there no police in Wilshire to call???) but still great fun. Especially when you think about how much the two lead actresses antagonized each other on-set, while never letting their animosity interfere with production (I love the anecdote that Crawford filled her pockets with rocks so that, when Davis had to drag her in one scene, she strained her back. Davis kicked her in the head, though, so I guess they're even.) And the guy who shows up in three scenes with an appallingly bad British accent inexplicably got an Oscar nomination…but Davis's demented performance makes it all worthwhile.

"All About Eve" (1950)
Yes, I think I have a full-blown crush on Bette Davis. This is the legendary film that got 14 Oscar nominations and, more importantly, saved Davis's acting career. It's got a scary-good script by Joseph L. Mankiewicz ("Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night." "You can put that award where your heart ought to be." And a million other lines of dialogue I'd kill to be able to write.) Davis is an aging theatre actress who hires an earnest young fan (Anne Baxter) as her assistant, only to see her charity case usurp her mantle in a matter of months. For half the film, Baxter's Eve walks the line so well that you can't be sure if she really is the wholesome, corn-fed, star-struck theatre-lover she claims to be, or the most seriously conniving succubus ever put onscreen. Lots of well-drawn and well-acted characters, particularly on the female side. And the last shot just gives me chills. It's easy for us cynical post-modern movie-watchers to diss the old classics, but trust me…Yes, it really is that good.

"High Art" (1998)
No, it's really not that good. What's supposed to be a character study of an ambitious young editor (Radha Mitchell) and her relationship with a troubled art photographer (Ally Sheedy) is just tiresome. Most of the reviews at the time the film came out focused on Sheedy's allegedly mesmerizing performance, marveling at the former Brat Pack-er's ability to make a film that didn't involve Molly Ringwald. Condescending much? She's not bad, but – yet again – another case of the hype dooming the actual product. I just found her twitchy, falling back on the same mannerisms she broke out in "The Breakfast Club." And yet I can see how, in conjunction with the rest of this cast, Sheedy could come off like Meryl Streep. I give Sheedy props for mustering any heat playing opposite Radha "Black Hole" Mitchell. (God help us if Mitchell ever makes a film with Orlando Bloom – the theatre screen might suck itself into a vortex of blanditude, from which not even Johnny Depp could save us.) This is a film that can't even use Patricia Clarkson appropriately, and that uses heroin-snorting as a time-killing bridge. It can't even make a lesbian sex scene hot. If you're neck-deep in the NYC photography snobocracy, it might resonate with you…but if not you're better off with "Amelie."

Pic of the week: "All About Eve." At 2 hours and 20 minutes, it still felt like it's 90 minutes long. An absolute classic - don't even presume to call yourself a film buff if yu haven't seen it.