What Ben needs to learn

So, the NFL has suspended Ben Roethlisberger for six games (four definitely, plus two more at the NFL’s discretion). Commissioner Roger Goodell has the prerogative to suspend players, even if they haven’t been charged or convicted of a crime, if he feels their conduct is detrimental to the NFL (which is, after all, an entertainment industry dependent on approval of fans and sponsors).

“…You are held to a higher standard as an N.F.L. player, and there is nothing about your conduct in Milledgeville that can remotely be described as admirable, responsible, or consistent with either the values of the league or the expectations of our fans,” Goodell wrote Roethlisberger today.

I’m pleasantly surprised that the NFL took this so seriously (Roethlisberger, a two-time Super Bowl winner, will lose almost $3 million as a result of the suspension). It would’ve been very easy for the NFL to use its considerable clout against Roethlisberger’s accuser, but they didn’t.

I have an issue, though (as always). Goodell ordered Roethlisberger to have something called a “comprehensive behavior evaluation” before he can rejoin his team. What, exactly, does that involve? Is it talk therapy? A.A.?

It’s my sincere hope that any treatment or evaluation will involve Roethlisberger being made to confront the reasons why, less than a year after another woman sued him for sexual assault, he was apparently out getting hammered and buying shots for underaged women, and then, by his own admission, trying to hook up with one of those women. Even if you disbelieve everything the woman in question reported to the Milledgeville police, Roethlisberger is guilty of first-class boneheadedness.

The NFL is rightly concerned with its reputation. But Roethlisberger should worry about not just playing at complying with his punishment, but actually learning something and growing up. I’m not the only one of his fans who will never quite be able to cheer for him with a clear conscience again.

If Roethlisberger wants to change – and I hope he does, for his sake – he needs to listen. He needs to listen to women who’ve been on the receiving end of sexual assaults, and put in their place the women he cares about, his mother, his sister. He needs to stop seeing other people as objects of his own ego.