“You just kinda wasted my precious time:” the best break-up songs

I’ve been meaning to do a post on the best post-break-up songs for awhile, and now that I’m far enough removed from my last break-up (right before the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day, the bastard), I feel like I can look at this objectively. Nerve has their own list, and it’s all very appropriately hip.

I, however, am not hip. My go-to break-up songs are probably pretty cliché, but they work for me.

“Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright,” Bob Dylan
For the break-up that you probably knew was coming. I love the last verse: “I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind/You could have done better but I don’t mind/You just kinda wasted my precious time/But don’t think twice, it’s all right.”

“Back on the Chain Gang,” The Pretenders
For the break-up with the person that you just can’t hate, or that you did hate, but it’s been long enough that you don’t anymore.

“Things Change,” Dwight Yoakam
When you’re the one who’s been dumped, after you bump into the ex and he/she’s gained 40 pounds. An astonishingly well-written song.

“I Am a Rock,” Simon and Garfunkel
And a rock feels no pain. My college roommate and I spent more than one afternoon signing this at top volume.

“Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart,” Alicia Keys
For when you’re singing karaoke in front of the person who dumped you.

“Don’t Dream it’s Over,” Crowded House or Sixpence None the Richer
Great kinda sad song when you need a kinda sad song.

“The Happiest Girl in the Whole USA,” Donna Fargo
For when your break-up is happening in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

“Careless Love,” by everybody who's ever recorded music, ever
Drink a beer or 12 and enjoy.

“Friends in Low Places,” Garth Brooks
In case you still have any of that beer left…

“Time is On My Side,” Irma Thomas
Because Mick Jagger can kiss your ass, that’s why.

“Goin’ Out of My Head,” Little Anthony and the Imperials
Just in case you’re still at that karaoke bar.

“Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl),” Looking Glass.
Sigh. It just wasn’t meant to be.

“Metal Firecracker,” Lucinda Williams
Dude, every other song Lucinda Williams writes is a break-up song (including pretty much the entirety of “World Without Tears”), but this is the best. “All I ask, don’t tell anybody the secrets I told you.” (BTW, “Are you alright” WILL make you drunk-dial. Be advised.)

“Ventura,” Lucinda Williams
For when you’re not self-actualized enough for “Metal Firecracker.” (NOTE: this is a terrible video. Just buy the CD.)

“Hanging By a Thread,” Nickel Creek
That sonuvabitch said he’d call, and now here you are three hours later listening to shitty alt-country. This is probably the song that makes you break up in the first place.

“Hey There,” Rosemary Clooney
“He’s got you dancing on a string. Break it, and he won’t care.” Advice we all probably should’ve taken far earlier than we did.

“Under Pressure,” Queen and David Bowie
I once heard this song immediately after running into my ex-fiance with the GF he started dating – no shit – less than a week after we broke up, to whom he’s now married, and I needed to restore my faith in humanity. It worked.

“This Room for Rent,” Sammi Smith
A song about a relationship and break-up that subtle, but still manages to be fabulous.

“Silence is Golden,” the Tremeloes
Another one of those sad-sounding songs that really hits the spot.

Any other suggestions?