Watch Anderson Cooper attempt to talk to a mentally handicapped person*

I'm torn between wanting to offer advice on crisis communications to the members of this church down in Catawba County, in the same way that an MD would feel a compulsion to correct someone doing CPR the wrong way, and slapping my hands over my mouth and letting them just go on and reveal themselves to be idiots.

I'm sorry, I can't help it. Do NOT go on live TV, ever under any circumstances, unless you've practiced. You will not come off well. You'll look like this.

I'm not making fun of this lady because she's a homophobe. It's a free country. I'm making fun of her because she's so obviously unable to understand the words coming out of Anderson Cooper's mouth. And Cooper's not exactly hitting hard here. He's not trying to sneak-attack her. Anyone who's ever had a discussion about the Biblical views on homosexuality knows exactly what arguments are going to be made. "It's in the Bible" will be met with "But so's this (eating shellfish, slavery, etc.)," and anyone who's ever had a single conversation on this subject will anticipate where the debate is going to go.

So, I can only conclude that this woman has never once had a conversation of any length with anyone who doesn't share her point of view. That's why, once she's even remotely challenged, she reverts to this victim role, as if Cooper is attacking her by asking questions - in an interview. The nerve!

By the way... how much do you want to bet that this church has seen at least one sermon about the godless liberal world's "war on Christmas"? As if saying "You do realize that there are people in the world who aren't Christian, right" is just like that time we all got nailed alive to a cross, but saying that we should round up gay people in concentration camps is merely a figure of speech.

*No, I don't think this woman is actually mentally handicapped. I think she's ignorant as hell, but I have no evidence about her relative IQ. Me calling her mentally handicapped in the headline there is what we arugula-eating elites call "hyperbole," and it's a wonderful literary device to have at hand. It's also most likely the term she was looking for at the top of the interview when she said that Pastor Worley meant what he said, sort of, but not literally.