I swear. It's almost like the Republicans in the House of Representatives (including my favorite person in the entire world, Virginia Foxx) have a list of the most asinine, head-in-the-sand things they could possibly do, and they're just going down checking things off. How else do you explain this?
So, in 2005, Congress and the FCC all agree that TV transmissions need to be converted to digital signals, because it's cheaper and frees up air for emergency traffic. The deadline was set for Feb. 17, 2009, and the TV stations set out throwing up warnings on their Web sites and local broadcasts. Despite having $200 million to play with, the education campaign wasn't exactly clear for many Americans. (Define my "old" TV?) Basically, you're okay as long as you're not rocking rabbit ears. Time Warner's handling it for me, personally.
But something like 16 million Americans don't have cable, even basic, or a dish. They still rely on an antenna to beam the analog signal out of the air (or something...I learned this at some point in my communications major, but I didn't really care about any of it). This being a government operation, a chunk of money was set aside for people to apply for coupons that would pay most of the cost of a converter box. But of course not everyone who needed one knew about the program, some people let the coupons expire and couldn't get new ones - a classic federal clusterf*ck.
The FCC warned Congress earlier this year that the coupon program was out of money. That, and (in case you haven't noticed) the economy's mildly whacked right now. So new President Obama suggested that maybe forcing millions of Americans to go out and drop $60 on a converter box was a mite insensitive, and that the deadline for the big switch be pushed until June. The Senate voted unanimously to do so. An extra four months will give us time to sort this mess out, right?
But nope, here comes the House of Representatives. They're like the spoiled, whiny cousin you have to put up with every year at Christmas who wants to know how much everybody else's presents cost. If our federal government were all magically converted to the cast of "Lost," the House of Representatives would be that guy Arzt from Season One - you know, the incredibly annoying science teacher whom the gang had to let tag along to fetch dynamite from the spooky ship because he knew *just* more about it than they did, and who got blown up into tiny pieces and therefore wasn't even useful as food. You know that game that every office seems to play at Christmas, where everyone gets a number and you can either unwrap a new present or take somebody else's? And there's always some really sweet old lady in the office who happens to get this nice gift that she genuinely likes, and no one takes it from her even though they want to because that would be a douchebaggy thing to do? And then the very last person makes a big deal about looking over all the gifts, and then takes the nice old lady's present even though he doesn't really want it, just to be a dick? That's the House of Representatives. Turd in the punchbowl.
The vote broke down nearly on party lines, with only 22 Republicans voting for the delay. Virginia Foxx voted no. I would like you to remember that, if you're one of the many people living in the rural 5th District in places where the cable company is still afraid to go, and you wake up on Feb. 18 only to find a bunch of static where your grainy Matt Lauer used to be, that Virginia Foxx decided that wasn't a big deal. In 2010, when you're watching her soft-focus commercials about how much she fights for people like you (assuming you've got your TV working, that is), I want you to remember that Virginia Foxx voted not to make your life slightly easier. I'm not sure what she thinks her job is, exactly, if not that.......
My favorite part is that this is somehow President Obama's fault. He's not being "bipartisan" enough for the intractables who just told 16 million Americans to f*ck off. Okay, that makes no sense. A guy reaches across the aisle, you pull back your hands, suck your arms back up your sleeves and under your shirt, then climb on top of your desk, and then you complain 'cause he's still not holding your hand? I say again - turds in the punchbowl.
And for the record, this is not a "setback" for Obama or House Democrats. I'm fairly sure the White House has cable, or a dish. Hell, they probably even get the NFL Network! No, I'm afraid the only people that are "set back" here are the ones who - once again, as always - look to their government for leadership and find nothing but static.
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