So, in an earlier post about Juneteenth, I mentioned encountering a woman who – well, I can’t imagine why she was there, honestly. I’m standing there watching the step show when I notice this elderly white woman park her lawn chair right next to me. Cool, I thought, to see an older person there, when most people (including me) would presume that a person that age in that geography would never in a million years set foot in a place where almost everyone is black, in a celebration of the black community.
I had not said anything to her or acknowledged her in any way – I think this is important, because I want to be clear that the very first thing that a perfect stranger said to me was not “hello” or “Hot out here, isn’t it?,” but: “Why do all these colored people shave their heads?” (Pause for spit-take.)
What I said was, “It’s just the style.” But what I was thinking was, “What? What the hell do you care what someone else does with his/her hair? Is seeing men with short hair somehow unfamiliar to you? Did you not catch all the women (and some men) with long hair? Why do you put your hair in pin-curls and a hairnet? And, again, why do you care what other people do with their hair???”
But what really bugged me to the point that I’m still thinking about it days later is why she felt comfortable saying this to me, and not the dozens of other people within earshot. Oh, right, I was the only other white person. I guess she figured I’d be safe.
It reminded me of a co-worker I knew several years ago who’d routinely spout off about the “n****s” at her daughter’s school – out loud, where anyone could hear her. One day I realized that, if I didn’t respond with something less subtle than silence and a shocked look, she’d assume I was on her same page. So, the next time I worked with her and she went off with her usual racism, I said, “You know, if you use words like that, people might assume you’re ignorant.” She agreed, and she never said anything else like that around me at least.
I kind of feel like it’s my responsibility as a white person to let other white people know that this sh*t is not cool. I’m a Southerner, proud of my heritage, which includes everyone from Confederate soldiers to abolitionists to sharecroppers to race car drivers. But… I live in 2009. And in 2009 I cross lines to small-town fairs and churches and steamy dirt tracks, to amateur firing ranges and backwoods keg parties. And that sh*t is never, ever cool.
I kind of feel a little bit sorry for the bigots who assume that, because I know where Dale Jr. sits in the points, I’ve got a white hood in my closet. Them I can handle – they’re losing and they know it. (The other side of bigotry – those “progressives” who hear my accent and automatically deduct 50 IQ points – them I still fight. But it’s no thing. Other people may have trouble reconciling the fact that I went to Juneteenth on Saturday and watched the race on Sunday and then went to my professional job on Monday, but I don’t. I know all the words to “Redneck Woman,” and I know all the words to “We Shall Overcome,” and nobody will ever convince me that any of that is wrong.)
Still, I feel like my response to the woman at the Juneteenth celebration was lacking. But what could I have done differently? I would’ve loved to have gone off on her and her ignorance, but I don’t think it would’ve fixed anything about the way she thought. But by not going off on her, I feel like I’m complicit in her racism. I don’t know… anybody have any thoughts on this?
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